Two posts in one day! That’s because I should repent before bed, and I know I won’t have time to write again till next week.
Reader Marie helped me consider if I’ve been hating on all the romantics without just cause. So let me say I commend Stephenie Meyer for writing a rip-roaring plot that has captured the world. I commend Jane Austen for sticking it to the man before many women figured out how. I commend infatuation for tricking men and women into getting together when nothing else will.
And I would like to more clearly define what I think is romantic, which, as Marie pointed out, is a good component of a relationship and something every girl deserves:
Need I say more?
No, but I will. To me, romance is:
- Having someone to be boring with (The best thing about being married is not having to go to any more parties!)
- The way Elizabeth and Darcy grow to respect each other without waxing cheesy
- The chemistry that happens when you get the feeling someone understands your whole personality (just about) and likes (almost) all of it
What I think is not romantic:
- KNOWING that there is only one person for you in the whole wide world, and if you can’t be with him, you will DIE, and you know all this even though you have only hung out with the guy a couple of times. (Okay, so I’ve been 17 before, but do we really have to make novels out of this embarrassing aspect of adolescence?)
- Leaving love wholly in the hands of fate, assuming that if a relationship is ”right,” everything will magically come together. This idea seems a little superstitious to me. Where’s that American work ethic?
- A novel about a girl writing a list, analyzing if the love interest is a good match or not. Sorry, I was joking about writing this book! But if any of you want to run with it, show me what you come up with. Maybe it will turn out funny. And maybe in the end, the main character will follow her heart after all.
I recognize that I write strictly from my own lens, and since I’m a boring person, it’s important to have Stephenie Meyer out there writing something someone will actually read. I know there are plenty of happy couples who fell in love at first sight, and just because I cannot understand it does not mean it isn’t real—sort of like relativity and superstring theory and Santa Claus.
So now I want to hear from you: What are your favorite romantic movies and books? And why do they work for you—because they are purely entertaining or because something about them makes them believable too?
10 Comments
April 10, 2009 at 7:51 am
I have to go with the movie “Return to Me.” Sure, people say it’s totally unbelievable and everything turns out just “too perfect,” But let’s set all that aside for a moment. I love how even though Bob’s two relationships are both romantic ones, they differ so much. (Plot-in-a-minute: Wife [Elizabeth] dies, donates heart, heart recipient [Grace] falls for widower [Bob].) There’s one part that sums it up for me. Bob says: “I love Elizabeth. I always will. But I ache for Grace.” Now THAT’S romance! (Or just evidence that I’ve seen the movie waaay too much.)
April 10, 2009 at 8:19 pm
Jenny, in reference to what you said at lunch today: I think you totally answered my question in this comment, but if you have more to say, do share! I like this movie too because it shows there can be more than one right person for you. Hate the soul mate idea. But this movie also troubled me—I thought the beginning was too sad, and the happy ending did not outweigh it for me. You know I’m very traumatized by death!
April 10, 2009 at 9:08 am
Hmmm…my favorite movies are things like the Die Hard series, so it’s hard to say what my idea of romance is. I like to see that when two people begin to come together, they click because they change each other for the better. And this doesn’t happen overnight. I like the idea of being able to be bored together.
April 10, 2009 at 9:36 am
Ahh- French Kiss. I like that movie because, as I said in my previous comment, the main characters are thrown together, develop a friendship (of sorts) and she realizes in the end that she really loves him.
In books I swoon when characters find “their lobster” (Friends refrence). You know, the person that makes them feel comfortable, safe, loved, and cherished.
I got really annoyed with the Twilight “I can’t breathe if he isn’t with me and I also can’t do anything except pine when he is away”. I’m all with you – why re-create that embarassing all-consuming time in our lives? On the other hand, if that is so common to that time, don’t YA’s want to read it? I’m OK if a romance starts that way as long as it ends in the “I’m so glad we can be boring together” place
April 10, 2009 at 10:25 am
This was a great clarification on your last post. And I have to say that I agree completely with you. I find the “little” things much more romantic than those weird “my whole life is wrapped up in you” sorts of ideas. Wouldn’t you just get sick of each other? And sick of yourself?
One of my all-time favorite romantic moments in a film is from “Reality Bites.” Yes, that dates me and yes, it’s an odd choice, but I love it. The scene I love is short and very simple, but it speaks volumes about how the characters feel about each other. The main character Lelaina (Wynona Ryder) comes home after being fired. Her roommate Vickie (Janeane Garofalo) says something causes a fight, and Vickie storms off to her room, totally offended. Lelaina follows her to try to make some peace but with no luck. Having about the crummiest day she can, she stands outside Vickie’s room with a look of complete exhaustion and frustration and pitifulness. Her good friend Troy (Ethan Hawke), who she ends up with at the end, comes around the corner. They look at each other. He takes her bag off her shoulder and gives her a knowing smile.
Arrgh! I love it. He knows she doesn’t need some big speech or anything. She just needs to know someone cares and is there for her. So romantic to me.
I love your stuff, Kim. Keep posting.
April 10, 2009 at 8:09 pm
Reality Bites—-dates me too because I remember when it came out, but I haven’t gotten around to seeing that one yet. I will put it on my list.
April 10, 2009 at 8:11 pm
Two excellent posts, Kim! Wow… I share A LOT of your thoughts! I actually finished the Twilight series, and I enjoyed them. She’s a great storyteller, and she certainly capture the emotions of that age, better than I ever could.
However, I hated the books, too. I know that sounds weird, but I respect them for what they and hate them for the fact that they could have been so much better. Enough said on that, I guess!
I think that true love is the love that lasts the test of time. Growing old. Loving that person for the wrinkles, the stretch marks, the temper, the gray hair, the annoying sounds they make when they eat – and loving them anyway.
Favorite movies? Hmmm, I love Stranger Than Fiction and Music & Lyrics. My ALL-TIME favorite is Sabrina. The Harrison Ford version. *SIGH*
April 10, 2009 at 8:31 pm
Marie- I know exactly the scene you are talking about! In fact, I named my mc in my book “Laney” after Lelaina. I love how they just know each other.
Kim- love the posts. Good heavens, you could write 8 novels a year at this rate. And it’s all good!
April 10, 2009 at 8:44 pm
That’s true, Brodi . . . maybe I should look into working on my novel instead of blogging about it.
April 16, 2009 at 8:51 am
[...] Young Adult (YA) fiction that my friend and YA author Kim recently blogged about here and in a follow up here. She talks about how it is annoying that in books like Twilight and other romantic YA books, it [...]